Once I was married to this prude who only wanted Missionary style sex and a new vacuum every fucking 6 months. I can’t really tell you which one of those quirks was more annoying. But I left that bitch for a girl who likes doggy-style and hates vacuuming. She likes some other things too, mostly of the “tie her up and spank her silly” variety. She’s even cool enough to watch porn with me during, before, and after sex. What do we watch? Fucking Devils Film, of course.

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